the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
