plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
