Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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