He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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