Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
