he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
