R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
