When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
