unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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