he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
