I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
