This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
