Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
