No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
