i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
you inspire me to be a worse person
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
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