Where are you?
In a non slutty way
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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