Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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