On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize