it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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