just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
