Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
