Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
