It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
