are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
