How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
