I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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