i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
