U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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