I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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