Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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