Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
