Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I could make wine with my vomit
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
