Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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