I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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