Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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