Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize