His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
These tits shall not be calmed
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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