the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
