Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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