I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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