Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
