Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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