1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
