Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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