Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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