I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
