Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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