ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
