Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
