I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
