with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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