Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize