Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize