Pappa wants mamma naked
im drinking this country out of the recession.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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