Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
